About two weeks after the Thanksgiving holiday, my five-year-old son Jimmy carried a turkey out to my car. We were delivering it to my new boss, Frank.
Our company gave out a frozen turkey as a perk to employees. Frank asked me to pick up his turkey as he was traveling out of town for the holidays.
“Of course,” I said, then extended my offer to include delivery when he returned. I was happy to do the favor. After all, he was the well-respected VP of Sales, and I was a newly promoted manager. Moreover, I had been working hard to establish a relationship with him. So why not score a few brownie points?
Like many senior executives in our company, Frank lived in the affluent section of town, an area with stately houses that came with the spoils of success. When I entered the neighborhood, I slowed down, taken aback by imposing mansions with beautifully manicured lawns. Our neighborhood looked nothing like this.
Jimmy shouted, “Daddy, these are the biggest houses I’ve ever seen.”
I drove down a long driveway bordered by tall pine trees. We hesitated as we got out of the car. Jimmy thought we were going into a castle while I wondered why I was feeling so intimidated.
“Want to carry the turkey?” I asked my son.
“Ok, Daddy.”
As we walked to the front door, Jimmy said, “Daddy, this house is huge.”
I smiled and said, “Yes, it is. This is where Daddy‘s boss lives.”
I rang the doorbell. The door opened immediately, and we were greeted with a warm smile by Susan, Frank’s wife. As she invited us in, Frank appeared.
“Well, what do we have here? Mr. Butler with a young fellow.”
Jimmy looked on with eyes that betrayed not fear but curiosity.
“Jimmy, this is Mr. O’Reilly, my boss.”
Frank surprised me by squatting down and extending his hand to Jimmy, then watching my son’s tiny hand disappear into my boss’s. This was a side of Frank I have never seen.
Susan and Frank offered us some refreshments. Ah, this is going well, I thought. I am glad I brought Jimmy. Who does not like cute kids bearing a Turkey at Thanksgiving?
“Jimmy, what do you want Santa Clause to bring you for Christmas,” Frank asked.
Jimmy mumbled something we could not understand.
“Jimmy,” I said, “take your finger out of your mouth so Mr. O’Reilly can understand you.”
Frank smiled at me and winked.
“I want an aquarium and some goldfish,” Jimmy said.
Frank grinned sheepishly. “That is what I want, too. I’ve already asked Santa to bring me one.”
Frank went on to say that he hoped there would be an aquarium left because he asked Santa first. Although I knew Frank was teasing, Jimmy did not.
“You are fat!” Jimmy said.
Frank’s initial reaction was a blank stare. I was horrified, gasping. “Jimmy, that’s not nice. Please apologize.”
My son continued to stare at Frank, looked up at me, and ran out of the house.
“I am so sorry, Frank. I don’t know what to say.” The moment of silence stretched for what felt like five minutes. There went the brownie points.
Then, Frank smiled widely and laughed a deep belly laugh. He stood, looked at Susan and me, and said, “From the mouth of babes. They do speak the truth.”
Frank was a wonderful boss, mentor, and long-time friend. In addition, his sense of humor was a strong character strength. I look back on this time and realize how people like Frank have made a difference in my life and career. As a result, I have spent the last 25 years dedicated to coaching and supporting managers in their journey to become good leaders.
My son Jim is now a successful executive, with two small children of his own. As an Executive Leadership Coach, I would not advise his children to deliver Thanksgiving Turkeys to his boss. However, I would tell him to find people like Frank – learn from them and be thankful that they are a part of his life. And laugh alongside them.